The death energy seems relentless. I am experiencing so much ego death lately. And even though I know that this is only making more space for more amazingness to come in, it certainly hasn’t been easy and it also isn’t pleasant.
What feels heavy to me is the seemingly impenetrable nature of the systems we are up against. I see that we are starting to chip away at it. I see that it is starting to show early signs of collapse. We just have to keep going. Still, these structures are so old and so dense. They feel like immovable pieces of the old paradigm sometimes.
The blocks of patriarchy, identity politics, propaganda, fear mongering, lack messaging, scarcity mindset, extractive capitalism — are somehow interlocking and holding each other up, even if they are also severely compromised and damaged.
Of course when we look at the big picture it can feel hopeless. War. The algorithm. Rampant inflation. Biodiversity lost. Climate change. Poisoned food and water.
What chance do we have of breaking all this down, surviving through the ensuing chaos, and then living long enough to rebuild from the ashes of fallen empires?
I would say there’s not much chance if I were a gambling woman to be honest. But I am not a gambler thank goodness.
I am a creator. And creator consciousness points us to what we do have dominion over; to mind our own business; to stay in our swim lane, all that good stuff.
Instead of bemoaning how we are rats caught in a maze, we can simply shift our attention and flip the power switch back into our own hands.
It’s true that we exist in a complex mind-created maze of objects and thought forms and relationships and impressions and information. The deluge of data that our individual human system gets fed on a daily basis is monstrous.
Yet the escape hatch from this matrix comes down to this: We can only be effectively manipulated if we are being manipulative.
As long as we’re not attached to gaining anything specific or reaching anywhere in particular, then we become immune to outside manipulation.
Think about all the programs we’re running to try to get somewhere else quick. We’re chasing after love, sex, drugs, money, power, esteem, beauty, fitness… you name it.
From the perspective of the powers that would extract our energy and resources, all humans can be categorized according to their vulnerability to mind slavery.
We can be sorted into billions upon billions of overlapping rooms that identify our tendencies: This one wants to be slimmer or have shinier hair. This one wants to bio-hack their way to the fountain of youth and vitality. This one wants to get pregnant. This one wants to learn a new language. This one wants to buy a house in Greece.
All our wants, all our thoughts, all our networks — this has been stored in databases that are zettabytes wide and decades long. But these control mechanisms still rely on history to predict the future. When we become unpredictable then we are no longer controllable.
Wherever you fear the victory of this or the demise of that. Wherever you defend — whether it’s a point of view or a pool of resources. Wherever you promote some cause or strive towards some end. These are the places where the hooks can grab us.
These are the places where the powers that be can get in through the cracks, to hijack your vehicle and take you off-path for the purposes of another’s agenda.
When you want something, it’s wise to ask, who benefits if I were to have this If the answer is only You, then you’re probably being used, but don’t know it yet.
And you’re not being used by God or Source or Spirit, but used by the short sighted ego of humans, to perpetuate toxic cycles and hold up empires of inequality and oppression.
What happens when our choices now are no longer tethered to the achievement of anything, but rather the service of something beyond self?
Looking towards service beyond self is a great way to check: are we blindly acting as a servant to a system that doesn’t actually serve collective benefit?
Every goal that we have, conscious or subconscious, is a hook in our psyche where the system of extraction can grab hold of our sovereignty. When we have no goal, there is no place for the control to hook into the vehicle of our mind and body. We become a slippery fish that bobs and darts in the stream rather randomly.
One day, we will stop trying to reach this destination or achieve that success. One day, we will give up the ridiculous effort to prove our worthiness to exist — and let existence be the evidence. And as we drop our useless agendas, we will free ourselves from outside control mechanisms.
By the way, on the topic of releasing any agenda, or ideas about preferred outcome, I am curious to hear from you if you are reading my essays, if you care to see me continue.
In total transparency, I have been hovering at around 30 paying subscribers sponsoring this Substack channel since its inception in July 2022. (Plus or minus one or two; sometimes more sometimes less.) It has not really grown, but it has been steady. In the last two months, the number has dropped significantly. I now have only 21 paying subscribers.
I wonder if this is a signal that I should be putting my energy into other endeavors besides writing and publishing these essays on a regular basis. What do you think? Should I continue with this? Can you give me some feedback, either by commenting, sharing, subscribing or sending me a private message? Thank you and bless you for being with me this far.
Hi Wendy May: Perspective. . . you touched on it lightly in this post. BTW you write very well. Becoming agenda-less or as I like to say: “Let go and let God” In our action, we lose sight of the vision, lose trust in the process, and just bang around in a sense of futility. Maybe we should just hold the vision and trust that the Universe will acclimate to our vision. Hold the vision and trust the process because our perception is a projection that is coming from our own mind, we have complete control over what we perceive.
"Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real."
- Carl Jung
Like you, I honestly believe the world I see is a reflection of my thoughts and like you I also believe I’m just a small piece of the collective consciousness they call humanity. If you’d like to break free of survival mode and read about one of the worlds possible futures you need to check out one of my favorite reads. 2150 AD by Thea Alexander. It’s been out of print for years, but if it sounds interesting to you just ask and I’ll send you a link to the pdf Like Mike Dooley often says: “Thoughts become things” If you don’t like the “things in your world” Change your stinking thinking. A good read might help? Oh . . . before I forget. “Patience grasshopper”
Hi Wendy! I continue to love your emails and hope that the winds of change keep you involved in writing. AND I recognize that I can receive your wisdom in other ways if Substack isn't the way forward for you.
"Wherever you fear the victory of this or the demise of that. Wherever you defend — whether it’s a point of view or a pool of resources. Wherever you promote some cause or strive towards some end. These are the places where the hooks can grab us."
I love this, and am challenged by it! So hard to surrender those places where I strive towards a goal/end!! And a reminder to keep at it! It's worth surrendering my ego and attachment if only to stay away from getting hooked into manipulation!
I've recently found inspiration from Niki Syke and her Ascension Portal. https://nikiskye.com/
Her 7 videos are packed with free information. I found it all extremely helpful, for answering some questions, for bringing new concepts to me, for understanding culture wars, ego, karma, and healing. Just now in reading this article I thought of video 4 and the culture wars. Niki introduced me to the concept of Spiral Dynamics from Ken Wilbur - maybe you're already familiar with this? Anyways, this was such a sigh of relief to understand more about what's happening in the culture wars through the Spiral Dynamics lens.
If I remember correctly, video 5 is about the ego.
Best wishes for your continued ego surrender, and discernment for what's opening next.