My Healing Journey (Part 3): Walking the Rue de la Ré
Freezing versus screaming
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Note: This post is part of a seven-part series on a multi-decade journey with sexual trauma and healing. It contains sensitive information including description of verbal aggression and non-sexual physical assault.
I was on a business trip in Lyon, France.
The senior partner from my management consulting firm was scheduled to come with me to meet the CEO of this billion-dollar biotech company, but he had to cancel his trip at the last minute due to a family emergency. So I was unexpectedly left to run the meeting on my own. I was representing my company at a really important kickoff for an executive assessment project, with a price tag of nearly half a million dollars.
The CEO of the client company was livid at the fact that my consulting firm had sent a junior team member to run this meeting, unprepared and unaccompanied.
It was totally fair that he was mad. He was paying a lot of money, for the expertise and presence of someone who was not me. And also, it was totally not my fault that he wasn’t getting what he paid for.
But since I was the only one there, I had to sit through an hour-long meeting with this angry man sporadically yelling at me. The power dynamic was clear. I was the hired help. I was the one there representing the high-priced management consulting company, which was obviously out of integrity. I was despicable. And entirely disposable. It never occurred to me that I had any other option available to me other than sit there and take what was dished out to me.