The soft power of feminine leadership
Frequency fences, judgment walls
The other day I was relaxing in the steam sauna. I found myself across from a couple that was talking loudly. I laid there for a while with the sound of their booming voices echoing around the sauna’s dome shaped room. I’m sure they will stop soon, I said to myself.
Some time went by. My irritation at the disturbance kept growing stronger with every passing minute. I thought to myself, maybe they’re not aware, I will say something. I turned to the couple and gestured to ask them to lower the volume… indicating with a circular motion of my hand that there was an echo effect amplifying their voices inside the dome of the sauna.
They nodded in acknowledgement and fell silent for a moment. It seemed like they had gotten the message. Eventually they started up their conversation again, leaning in closer to each other and speaking more quietly this time. But over time, the volume gradually increased, and eventually I was feeling bombarded by their loud voices again.
I wanted to have silence, and it wasn’t happening. I felt myself suppress some frustration, and swallow some resentment. I had the impulse to roll my eyes or to sigh with annoyance. But instead of shooting over a hostile glare, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
I was facing away from them, lying on my back. Without saying another word, I spontaneously started humming gently to myself — just to soothe my own nervous system. The sound of my humming was barely audible. But I believe that the vibration was felt because the couple fell into silence again.
Encouraged by their silence, I continued a pattern of slow circular breathing, and allowed the humming to grow stronger with each inhalation.
Moments later, I heard another body start humming near me, and gradually the humming transitioned into a reverberant chanting of Om. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that only half of the couple remained.
The man had walked out of the sauna. The woman had moved over from the opposite side of the dome, coming to sit closer to where I was lying down. We spent a few minutes like this, freely sounding and singing together. Throats open, we shared a beautiful moment of wordless resonance.
After leaving the sauna, I could hear the woman still inside, continuing to sing alone. I smiled hearing her; it was a joyful and playful sound.
I share this story because it was a striking reminder of how we can embody leadership — simply by being in our own frequency. Frequency naturally creates fences between us and everything that is not aligned. We don’t need to hold onto blocks of judgement and build such high, impenetrable walls.
Frequency is fluid. And fences are both flexible and permeable. In this way, we invite people in, rather than block people out. We become key holders of a higher timeline that can be accessed by everyone, rather than assuming the role of a haughty gatekeeper trying to keep undesirables out.
When we hold our frequency, reality rearranges itself accordingly. It happens naturally, without much effort. Those who are not aligned with us will leave our space, and those who are aligned, will move closer.
There’s no need for domination. It’s not about pushing or forcing any action or outcome from a posture of superiority. Sustainable change cannot come from commanding others to comply with our wishes. Everyone must see in their own time, and choose from their own free will.
Our presence is far more powerful than our preference. The assignment is to stay where we are placed, holding our sovereign space, sharing our unique vibration. That is all. That is enough. We can help shift reality on a deeper, truer level, by not trying to impose our will onto others.
We let our frequency set a direction, and surrender the pace to the divine. We hold a higher vision, and let the details be revealed. This is the soft power of feminine leadership. And when I say feminine leadership, I believe that this is something that can and must be embodied by all-bodied beings, not only females.
Beautiful and so true!