I have been working on something for the last couple of months… Not just working on. Losing sleep over. Struggling with. Dying multiple deaths from. Being transformed and expanded by.
Only a few of my closest friends have any idea how much work has gone into this. And even they have only a small glimpse into the process.
Since early August, I have been waking up in the middle of the night quite often… with an image or a metaphor, with a random phrase or a sentence. I noted everything down, not really understanding what it all meant.
A few weeks ago, it started to morph into a more discernible shape. A structure emerged. A broader story, a fuller perspective, a sequencing of thoughts that started to make sense somehow.
Once I started to see the threads that were weaving together, I became totally obsessed with shaping the form. I wrestled with it through the eclipse window that just passed.
At first, it was scribbled notes, a few scattered ideas, me rambling into my voice notes, stream of consciousness style. I transcribed my unscripted audio, printed it out, wrote headings on notecards, so I could rearrange things. I spent many days refining and editing every single sentence by hand — me, myself, no chatbot assistance.
I had to do a lot of work on the messenger herself too. I had to confront all her fears and insecurities about speaking in front of a camera. I took several multi-day offline retreats to focus on this. I did many rounds of recording and re-recording, both video and audio only. I bought a tripod for my phone and had a friend help me set up proper lighting in my living room area.
I had to process triggers that arose from watching myself in a live video recording, giving voice to my words. I had moments of visceral terror in my body. A lot of shaking and sweating. A lot of humming and talking to soothe myself. A lot of perfectionism and procrastination.
And finally, the breakthroughs. Purification of my fears and desires to be seen. Asking for and receiving support from somewhere beyond the reaches of my mind. Just doing the thing. Then doing it again. It got easier every round. And, knowing when enough is enough. It is done, though far from perfect. Still, it needs to go out into the world now.
On the face of it, it’s a message about AI. But it’s not just about that. It’s a contemplation on the state of the world, the state of humanity, the evolution of consciousness… and the potency of the choice point energy that all of us are living through now, like it or not.
AI is very alive in the collective consciousness, and the noise around it is getting louder and louder. There’s a lot of fascination, dread, fear, and optimism surrounding it. What if we look through a few lenses to see what emergent technology is showing us about the state of humanity? Let’s explore how we can reclaim power in relating with it.
Watch/listen » (link in email)
Note: everything apart from the intro and closing is audio-only, so you can put your headphones on, rest your eyes, relax and listen to this as a podcast.
Here’s where you can buy me a coffee to say thank you.